Hoping for a newer better me to emerge in the coming months!?

Not ever wanting to get my pics taken this one is a grandchild's idea of new hairstyle for me with my extra chin, wide middle and flabby arms!

this one is a little less weight but still big and hippo hips cant get into that shirt right now either!

Family reunion pic after the kids took me on a torture walk in the woods, sweat and all!
HENCE THE REASON BEHIND THIS AWFUL PICS IS THIS:

I am venturing back to a doctor supervised diet I had been on once before and lost 110 lbs on.

HarrisFast is a program that many don't know about because it is by word of mouth and two time kick off at the hospital a year drive for members. It is very regimented and precise, If you do not follow all given to you to do then you can be kicked out of it.blood TESTS ARE RUN REGULARLY AND BLOOD PRESSURE AND OF COURSE WEIGHT! UGH HATE THOSE BIG SCALES!

Last time I did so good because most of my eating time was at work and I was in a small room to drown out the outside world! This time I will be amongst scrappy friends who will be eating many other things outside of my box which will give me a challenge. but I know I can do it over bariatric surgery! That is just not in the cards for me!

I will also know I want to feel like I did skinnier now that I am back to where I started several years ago. I cant even walk right now with out pain and to those of you who know I fell the other day , not those pains they are on top of the pains of exercise..."NO PAIN NO GAIN" is what keeps going thru my head. But I do know it can get better than this and I hit it awhile back on Harris Fast, but then Life hit hard with mom and all the things that happen with Alzheimer's and I let lose of the better me and fell back into my avalanche world comforted by food.

NO MORE as This Monday will start me on my road of recovery and HOPE! I pray for God to talk to me and help me each step of the way so that I may live long enough to have other grand kids and hopefully some Daughter in laws along the way! God willing since He is the only one to know my path and where I am headed at this point, Just don't think it is the road I have been taking as of late!

enough Rambling on....

Have Great Day and Week !

Denise

I know I have only a few that watch my blog and I am gonna probably chase some of those away as I use this as one of my confidential parts of the things I have to write down daily...God is gonna be beside me and my husband is the sweet person to help me back into this money , heart and mind.

Tomorrow at 4:30 is my orientation to get into the restart program! Classes probably starting the 6Th of October! Please pray for him HUBBY as for I will try and cook under supervision some batch food for him as I take this year or more journey. Last time that is what it took to get just 110 lb off this large body off mass...We will see this time ..Jami hopefully will keep on me to walk with her more.

On this WEEK and DAY 20 yrs Ago!

It took my Aunt Doris my mom's twin to get me to look at this date as to why I am so down this week.

20 years ago today was my mother's death!

Dorcas Annette Cole passed away after a bout with cancer she had been in remission 3 years when it came back with a vengeance and she let us know the day before she left to be with our Heavenly Father that she could not fight it anymore that it was time to go home.

20 years ago this week

~a week prior to mom we buried my Dad...Stacy Lewis Haws after going in to the hospital with a heart attack and not making after surgery. Although they had been divorced 15 yrs they followed each other into Gods hands.

This is one of the hardest weeks in my life that I often subconsciously block this time of year but I always heck to be around. Had a good cry last night and felt somewhat better today but surrounded my day with family .

My Day!

Jami my daughter and I went for Sushi at lunch and the bike shop to get DH's bicycle fixed.

then went to try and get my hair cut but will try to get in early in the morning . cuz Tory the one I like is always booked for the day if you are not on her door step at 9am.

Then had supper with two of my favorite men Casey and Jeff at El Chico's.

This is more eating out than we have done in 2 weeks, I so love payday! Then home for Jeff to see the Cowboys so I am on the computer playing and pouring out my guts to the world!

Aunt Doris I Love you and know this is very hard on you with your twin gone, just know we know how hard it is and you are loved by your nieces!

Enough said and hope you have bright days on your horizons I know I am looking for them!

Till next time in Blog land....

Denise

PS....Please continue to pray for my nephew Wesley and family as he will have surgery at Cook's Children's Hospital Set. 21st unless it gets to bad to tolerate before then.

Thanks for the prayers said thus far we have felt them!

The Saga of the Rain continues!

Correction from yesterday Wes will be 17 on the 25th of June!

Tuesday......11AM...Jeff cough of 5months gets him to cough up blood today. Calls Doc and tells him to get his-self over to the ER. So we sat ( the boys were with me for awhile till their Dad made them leave) while they ran 2 tests xray of chest, which we know has not shown anything in past, and more promising a Cat Scan, one test have not had yet. Then waiting game to find out they don't know anything so sending us home with antibiotic and calling it Bronchitis. and then he will still see the Lung specialist on July 8th. we are all praying we do not cough up anymore blood and that he just busted a vessel in his throat this morning. Got home around 5pm and fed him and off to bed he went. All the coughing gives him a terrible headache.

okay I am praying that God decides to let up on the rain for awhile and we can have some normal activity here at the Cook household for a couple of days. This is wearing me out....

Toshe and I are fixing to water Jami and my plants then hopefully crawling into bed with Jeff and crashing for the night. I miss the kids being gone to Destin Florida but glad they are having fun. Toby is calling me every day to tell me what they have done, and really enjoying his calls.
They are supposed to go see Dolphins tomorrow. They kayaked today and para sailed yesterday.
well gonna go and get the watering done so her plants don't die under my care.......
Have a great day tomorrow till next time....
Denise

What a week! Whew glad it is over....

I feel like we have been under a bad storm cloud following us that is just now lifting and I am tired! here is what has sorta been going on in our lives this week. Moma always said when it rains it pours and that it comes in threes think it feels like mor than three this time!
Thursday.....AM
First part of week Jeff goes majorly high in his blood sugar and can't get it down....Call Doctor on call and with all the insulin already taken he has us do a separate shot other than what we are doing through pump........I am thinking not good at time he takes it......It stars coming down but not fast so he goes on to bed cuz he feels really sickly because of ketosis from sugars above 500.
Around 2:30 AM notice him sitting up several times and ask if he is okay and no response, touch him and he is sweaty and cold and clammy , so jump up turn lights on and see he is going under from sugar dropping too low, run to get peanut butter and crackers and he is too gone to eat them so head back to get juice, get back to bedroom and somehow he has managed to get into our very very small bathroom and just as I ask him how he is doing he crashes into the floor in convulsions, did I say how small our bathroom is, not big enough for him to lay in the floor without his head being against the door jamb...By the way if you have never seen someone in convulsions or seizure than you probably don't know how horrifically they jerk around. Jeff's head was against the door and wood floor pounding his head and not able to get him up as he was slicker than snot from the sweats. 911 time and thank goodness they are only around the corner.
Holding his head to try and keep him from getting concussion too in comes 5 t0 6 EMT's and firemen into our bedroom. they get him on the bed and he is talking to him now that I remembered to suspend the pump and he hates me to call for help in past. His blood sugar is 25.
After an IV, peanut butter sandwich, crackers he now knows who he is and what vital statistics they ask him, and then refuses to go to hospital....needless to say not much sleep for me from 4:30 am till time to go to a class on Thursday morning at TSS for Hot Metal MOMMAS! He still wanted me to go! PRAISE GOD for waking me and for me being there to keep him from leaving me!

Thursday afternoon.......10am to noon class longest class I ever felt like I had been in but glad had friends around me! but when I finish my birdhouse it will be cute! Jeff gets call from his DR. seeing if he is okay and says Doc on call told him tooo big of shot....DUH think we figured that out!

Friday.......Get a call from Terri late they are headed to Cooks Children's with Wesley headaches, pressure and lethargic actions getting worse, Dr. Honeycutt not there till Monday, but they admit him for the week-end. he is sickly and gets sick at stomach .

Saturday ......have class with Tracy and Create Joy team scrapbook in a day! All going good and getting to last part of the day, and get phone call from daughter that it is 89 degrees at the house and they can't get the air to work at my house. Get friend to come see if it is something little or if need to call repair guys. It is bad and Brown's who our warranty is with is gone for the day. GREAT and it is 94 when I get to the house. Toshe does not do good with heat at 16 and heart problems. Jami and Jason and kids are off to go to Florida and don't want Toshe in their house cuz Scrappy their male dog will mark everything when they get back where she has been, So although it cost us when go to a Holiday Inn express that takes small pets. Boys could not take us in either because of their lease agreement. Oh and by the way it is gonna be Fathers Day and Jeff is not happy. Stay-Cation it is not when there is a dog with you in a hotel. house is 99 degrees when we go back to get some things.

Sunday...... By the way Jeff sees his Mom every week-end 1:30 to 3 and she was not responding to anyone this week-end another bummer for Jeff as well as problems at work so phone calls Saturday evening through all day Sunday, less sleep again but we are all cool at hotel!

Monday...Air guy calls me at 9am and says he is headed to my house so grab stuff and head home after checking out. It is still 99 degrees inside....Air is fixed by 11:30 and warranty was still in effect PRAISE GOD! otherwise it would have been 14oo.00 smacker roos...Get a call from Terri they have released Wesley Dr. says not bad enough yet to do anything so they head back to Comanche to wait it out again....poor guy! by the way Terri spent her birthday and Fathers Day away from her family, the 21st is Terri ,Sherri and Jami's birthdays and every couple of years also Father's day! We are all waiting for the fun to stop....LOL....NOT! Last night at 9:30 PM we finally got to 78 degrees after it running constantly to get there and it is great to have slept in my own bed last night. Kids are having great time in Florida and hopefully no more surprises!

Tuesday .......So glad to be home cool and rested again !

I am counting the days till my class with Tim Holtz and Cheryl Darrow this coming Sunday afternoon! the 28th is coming Yipee! WooooHooo! Metal meets grunge or so I hope although anything from these two has gotta be cool.
As I finish some projects will try to post pics especially from my SBIAD and Hot Metal MOMMAS birdhouse!
Keep crafting and take care till next time!
Denise
PS ....Please pray for Wesley to not get the pain he has had before and for this to be healed or for God to show us what he wants us to do for this wonderful young guy. On the 25th Wes will be 16.

Fun stuff and more stuff hitting fan so to speak!

Well went to monthly Scrapstashers class today and did part of a project. but it was fun and will put pics when I actually finish it. Had a problem with my glue discoloring on front and trying to figure out a remedy without having to tear it apart.
Tracy always does a great job and she did it again and it is always fun to be around everyone!

Took Matt to lunch this afternoon and while he was away from his apartment their main bathroom decided to bust and flooded the whole apartment. Needless to say Matt and Casey are surrounded by dry out fans tonight and carpet without padding that is a bit soggy. Hopefully they can get all back to running and dry in next two days.

then this afternoon.......got a call from baby sis and an adjuster came to see them today and all their roofs are in shambles and not just screens and one broken window it also tore up some of the wood exterior. They should know in two days how much money they will have to repair.
My other sis still is waiting for house and trailer adjusters to come there.
My baby sis Terri also told me my nephew Wesley is also getting worse again, he is lethargic again and getting headaches again, she will wait to come into town to Children's until he can't hold his own. I would rather things to get better though so I am praying hard for this to pass and for Gods healing grace to come upon Wesley.......He has so been through tooo much in his life already.

If you would please pray for this young man! And for God s will , which hopefully will be some answers to our prayers....
thanks
Denise

A Ruff Week! Good news and bad news....

This is an eerie pic of my late adopted cat Samantha who passed on to kitty heaven on Thursday morning at 4:30 AM.

My niece Lisa couldn't keep her when they moved about two years ago and so I took her in. I was her third family. she was a good cat, verbal when she wanted something but quiet and reserved all other times, didn't really know how to play but she fit into the family pretty quickly.

You never seeked her out or she ran and hid but if she wanted your attention she found you . she jumped into Casey's lap a while back when he came over for the day. she liked grown ups but hid from the grand kids at all costs. I will miss her and her Diva attitude.

Went to GASC with some friends in Arlington last Thursday the 4th and had a blast till started hurting from purchases, and that was even after I paid 5 bucks for check ins of my bag. I am better and enjoying my T!mster and Ranger pics from one both , lots of bling and technique Tuesday stuff and other misc. along with mini books from Maya Road.

Well hope to start posting again more regular but lots of classes coming up in next couple of weeks and must get some things done for our Family reunion.

Last night my little sisters got hit pretty hard out in Comanche, Terri and John's Ranch got hit with straight line winds and hail, and said they have major cleanup to get done . also Johns new mail truck for his routes was messed up.

Sherri and Alvin have been moving into their new home and the 3 month old roof got egg sized hail and also their 5th wheel trailer had the skylights and dinged up everything.

Just thankful no one was hurt since it was really a bad storm that went through their area yesterday.

Till next time

Denise

Some Tim Holtz inspired necklaces! & Hallelujah pump shipped today!

My first necklace I made in another Create Joy class

is of my parents and I for me. I used green appletini metal and an inked metal bird.

Also made some earrings to go with that have cross and pin from Tim stuff with green glass beads added to them.

Also used graphic 45 green paper and word page as backdrops to the pic of my father as a boy.The back is of my parents and myself.

On the front with one of the capsule doo dads i have an old earring and at bottom dangling is an old mustard seed that was given to me from my grandma and a Tim Holtzs alpha charm that says moments.

The second necklace that some one in the family can bid on at auction this year is my Dad and Uncle In Hawaii during WWII, graphic 45 ship cut out and added with tiny clip and metal embossed with friend.

Metal in background is just stamped with Stazon in and a stamp!
Added the Cherish charm at bottom.

Back of the charm has my dad on base relaxing backed with embossed metal and also his name embossed Also used some more graphic 45 scraps.

Added a mix of old jewelry chain and some glass beads on wire for the chain and then made some Christian fish and glass bead earrings to go with it!

Yea! Jeff my DH's Insulin pump is gonna be shipped today to us and not a moment tooo soon since the other one is only working part time these days!

This is what we are getting no tubing!!! Yippee!

And this is the object of much stress lately that has tubing and is working intermittently lately which is no bueno in Diabetes world! Answers to prayers today!

Yea Jeff has a insulin pump on the way today

Well until next time have fun creating something!

Denise

Feelings of a Complicated Life!

Well after Jeff's Insulin Pump Company went under 2 months ago we have wondered what we were gonna do if his stopped working before we got into the Endocrinologist. Today was my DH's appointment to see what our options are and out of about 4 options looks like we are gonna see if insurance will help on an Omni Pod. Which is so cool because he only has to wear the portion that is white, the other portion works like a PDA unconnected to the insulin part. He fills it like we did with his old Pump every 3 days ,but it is wireless no hanging strings to get caught on anything. and it is waterproof also. I have been praying for something good and last time we had a pump quit pumping it was nearly a disaster. Now for the paper work and Insurance stuff, so still gotta wait on time....So hopefully God is still listening to my pleas for the old pump since it is having issues lately.

Next is my procedure for tomorrow....COLONOSCOPY!.....fun fun fun.....NOT!
At 5 pm I get to start my cleansing with the first bottle , then at 7 pm the second bottle, Yummy!
After 7 I am unable to drink anything that is not clear, could have coffee or tea before then but also not supposed to drink caffeine after 12 per sleep study. I am so not looking forward to 5pm.
At least I am asleep tomorrow during the procedure at 6:15 am, Jeff has got his work cutout getting me awake that early in the morning without caffeine and hopefully home before 9am according to the nurse.....Hoping the find something treatable and not the nasty things. Having this due to my age.....You know the magical one that comes after 40 and because having problems in that area that have been worse since surgery.......So Dr. Sajid needs prayers to be guided and knowledge to get me on the right track, Hopefully and for me to have calmness in 30 minutes as I start my cleansing YUK YUK YUK!
Creativeness to follow this week as I finish up some items from classes I have taken...Yippee for Movie prep solution !.....NOT!
Denise

Long time and no blog! But I WON my 1st Challenge!

Front view!

before view!

Yea ! I won my first challenge ever the other day with TenSeconds Studio's Shoe Challenge!

My third shoe my pain shoe won!

Been going to Doctor visits and trying to get some problems taken care of so it has been a while since I have blogged. gonna have a colonoscopy the 14th of this coming month and a Cat Scan from the Nero surgeon and followup on the 19th. Had my physical last week and still gotta go for mammogram.......Am I having fun yet?...LOL

DH's Insulin Pump company quite business and left a bunch of customers needing something that works! they are all quiting and having problems. And they can't get supplies anymore.

Has taken forever to get in with his endocrinologist but the 12th of next month we will see what our options are gonna be! Praying something good is out there, maybe even an Omni Pod the D- Life shows on their weekly show. something before this one says bye bye....

I know God will see us thru this but sometimes the world sneaks in and takes over with my worry wort mindset.

Looking forward to National Scrapbook day this May 2nd, gonna spend it at Create Joys crop 10 a til 10p and it is gonna be held at my church BBC....That makes me feel good that maybe some of our women will take part with Tracy's bunch of gals cuz I always have a blast at NRHBC at her crops although some signed with one in Denton and I will miss them on Saturday. but I will get to see and old friend Kristy while I am there and possibly catch up with her some.

Well will try to add some things as I get to a photo shot of things!

Until then have a Blessed Day in the Sonshine!

and keep creating!

Denise

Can't Sleep and wanna do something but can't!

Dr. Lee and Doc Wilson were so nice to tell me to eat lots of ice cream for my throat hurting after surgery and pudding, weren't they nice caramel caribou with chocolate pudding on the side after two wonderful days of a liquid diet....YUMMY YUM..Got to watch it before I outgrow everything...LOL

In bed and not happy at her aim!

She told me smile big, HA HA Ha!

This is what I thought of her after playing with my camera ...Good Halloween pic if you ask me!

Boy It is hard when ya can't do much with your neck in a brace...

My daughter thinks it is funny to take pics of me , at least she erased the ones with napkin hanging out of the brace. All kidding aside she has been my angel keeping things going while I am supposed to rest and Vicki Bell was an angel bringing me her wedge pillow. Any ideas to keep me busy with small amount of looking area please post, anxiety attacks started yesterday with this brace ....... But I know God will get me thru it , my patience is the problem.

Well it is time can take some more meds so off to lala land....

Keep creating

In HIS Hands and Will...

Denise

3rd times charm?

This is ....lets test Denise's nerves and pain tolerance under distress test......
Well first my surgery was Wednesday the 18th and they canceled because the case in front of mine got to big to do 2 surgeries that day and moved me to Monday the 16th tomorrow at 8:30 am, I tell her okay and at 8PM tonight the nurse calls and tells me that she hopes I am okay with it once again because they have had an emergency surgery arise tonight for tomorrow morning which is too long to do mine safely so now I am scheduled for ...Thursday the 19th at 7:15 am.
Okay now I prepare for it Thursday wondering if moms old saying it come in threes is over or I get changed again to another date.......I know she is an important surgeon but wondering if I will have surgery in my very negative mind set tonight.
So now my list that I tore up and gave up on around 6pm tonight goes into a new list of what I clean and organize before Thursday. And just changed my linens to come home to this afternoon, so now the question is do I change them again before I go or just say heck with it!
Jeff had to change his schedule at work again hoping they stay good sports about this....
Well feel better to get all of that out, now if Jeffy calms down before or until Thursday.
We will have to wait and see on that one. oh well thru with my whining and gonna get ready for bed , lucky I still have my meds so that I can sleep..
Until next time
Hopefully with me in a better mindset...
keep creating!
Denise